Around this time last year, I wrote an opinion piece about why you all should have rooted for Philadelphia in the 2018 Super Bowl. Just about a week later, the Eagles ended their miracle season with a 41-33 victory over the New England Patriots.

Not only did Nick Foles complete his redemption arc in that game, but his MVP performance single-handedly proved my argument right. It also verified my superior sports knowledge and ensured that any prediction I make about any sport will always be correct, no matter how outlandish.

That’s how this works, right?

As it turns out, no. Not even slightly. When I started planning this piece back in early January, I was hoping that I would be convincing you to cheer on the Dallas Cowboys against the Kansas City Chiefs in this year’s NFL championship. However, over the last two rounds of the playoffs, the Los Angeles Rams and New England Patriots had different plans.

Now I’m stuck with a game between two teams I really don’t like and a team of my own that will be left to wallow in its own mediocrity for another long and surely uneventful offseason. Baseball season can’t come soon enough.

But you’re not here to listen to me lament my team’s lack of success. If last year is any indication, you all want to know who to root for in this year’s big game. Well fret not, my dear readers, for I once again have the answer to your question.

Don’t pick a team. In fact, don’t even watch the game.

Now before you click off and think I’m just a melodramatic Cowboys fan throwing a self-righteous tantrum, hear me out. My reasons, while still partially personal and perhaps slightly petty, have more substance than you might think. Plus, as a football fan, this is not an argument I make lightly.

Let’s start with New England, the defending AFC champions. My dislike for the Patriots’ fan base has been made known many times before. I actually don’t mind the team or its success all that much, but watching the same team represent the AFC in nine of the last 18 Super Bowls gets pretty boring.

However, the culture that many championship appearances builds becomes hostile. It means that no one else is allowed to be good. Any team that beats New England or any quarterback who plays remotely on the same level as Tom Brady are all just lucky, according to most New England fans. The Patriots are the only team allowed to be good, and everyone else is leagues and miles behind. If you think otherwise, then you’re just wrong.

Is it petty to root against New England for this? I suppose, but in the world of sports fandom, alliances and rivalries have been forged over pettier.

On the NFC side, the only team not based in Washington, D.C. who can make me as upset as I am now is the Rams. I’ll keep this short because I could go on for hours, but Rams owner Stan Kroenke and the NFL screwed over my hometown of St. Louis when they moved the franchise to LA. They intentionally led on city officials and fans throughout the relocation process, actively encouraging the city to spend millions of dollars on upgrades and plans for a new stadium while knowing full-well that the team’s primary intent was to move to LA.

No fewer than four lawsuits have been filed against the Rams by fans and the city, and while the Rams have already agreed to pay at least $31 million in reparations to past season ticket holders, St. Louis has still lost out on a lot. No matter how you slice it, the Rams are a symbol of corruption, greed and just about everything else that is wrong with the NFL. Am I bit biased? Sure, but I’m not the only one who thinks that Rams are not a good organization.

Plus, on top of all that, the Rams beat my Cowboys in the playoffs this year. Not cool.

In short, this matchup is a culmination of everything that is wrong with the NFL: On the field, you have lack of competitive balance and no excitement. Off the field, you have greedy, selfish owners worried about profit above all else. It’s despicable, and aside from a Washington-Pittsburgh matchup, it’s the worst possible championship game I can think of.

So, if you’re buying all of this, you probably only have one question: What now?

There are plenty of other non-football related activities going on Sunday. The last day of St. Paul Winter Carnival is that day, and no fewer than four theaters will have performances during the big game. The Walker and MIA museums both have exhibits open.

Following this week’s winter apocalypse, lakes and rivers should be frozen enough to go skating. Go sledding, grab a camera and do a winter photoshoot or anything else that involves the heaping amounts of snow that Minnesotans clamored for all winter.

None of our sports teams have games that day, but maybe you could organize a wake of sorts on the plaza right outside U.S. Bank Stadium to lament the lack of success in recent years. That’s something Minnesotans would enjoy, right? It seems fitting at the very least. Rest in peace, Vikings’ Super Bowl hopes.

If you’re not big on outdoor activities or socializing, the NDP Group, a national market research organization, recently listed the new Super Smash Brothers game for Nintendo Switch as the best-selling game of December. If you don’t have it, chances are you know someone who does. Give it a go – it’s easily the best video game I’ve played all year. You’ll have no issues filling up four hours.

Not interested in Nintendo or don’t have a Switch? No worries; the video game industry as a whole just had its best year of the decade, with plenty of new titles released in the last month. Why waste time watching a bad Super Bowl when you can personally take the Vikings there yourself with a game of Madden? That might be the only way Minnesota could see a championship win for a while; take advantage of that opportunity.

Not a big video games person? Netflix just added nearly 80 new movies and TV shows this month, so you’re covered on that front, too.

Maybe you’re a student who recently finished a J-term course or just got back from abroad. You deserve a break from all the stress and hard work you’ve put in. Go to bed early! Classes start the day after the game, after all.

Even if you already bought snacks and the like for the game, go ahead and make a game night out of it with a deck of cards or a board game.

There is something for just about everyone to do from 5:30 to about 11 p.m. this Sunday. Your options are there. Just don’t choose the Super Bowl.

You’ll thank me later.

Noah Brown can be reached at brow7736@stthomas.edu.