It’s a little strange how often I hear about how prevalent depression is in college. I believe it to be true, and from personal experience I know it to be true, but it’s rarely a discussion I have with my friends. I try to wear a smile on my face whenever I can, but it’s not always genuine. I don’t consider myself a depressed person, but I have more flings with the blues than I would like to admit.

And to cope with that, I listen to interviews with passionate people. I go on the subreddit r/GetMotivated, and repeat to myself “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” I see a gloomy thought, acknowledge it and try to drown it in positivity. And it kind of works.

When we commend our peers, we often use phrases like “light up a room” and “brightens your day.” We feed off the energy that we receive, so who would even want to talk about a spell of depression? In my four years on campus, I have never had a passing greeting ever dip into “okay” territory or even a quiet “alright.” It’s always, “Hi! How are you?” “Good! How are you!” “Good!”

And for those of us who get Seasonal Affective Disorder or are still trying to get over a certain someone, having a sadness uncured by pep talk and a hug can really suck. When we feel small and gross, we don’t want to talk about it for any number of reasons. We seek catharsis and happiness however we can.

And seeking happiness and positivity is very important, but taking time to look into depression beyond the shallow layer of “I hate this, I want this to be over,” is important. Last January term I saw a therapist a few times, and I can distinctly remember feeling angry that I had signed up for an appointment. I had always laughed at cultures that said “Men don’t go to therapists,” but there I was with the same feeling of XXX. I didn’t want to wake up feeling sick to my stomach anymore, but I also didn’t want to look into why I felt that way because I saw and felt nothing but negativity.

We love to talk about positivity once we’re out of the woods and feeling chipper again, but I think that a lot of work can be done when we’re feeling down and out. The trouble comes in gathering insight while depressed. When our worries are at least not enough to get us down, having healthy thoughts is far easier than when our mind is a constant downward spiral of self-loathing.
But that depression is often brought on when something that made us very happy is taken away from us, sometimes unexpectedly. There is room for wallowing but also reflection and even finding the silver lining.

Trying to block out negative thoughts and flood ourselves with positive stimuli can be a good way to cope, but there is a chance that it robs us of our ability to reflect.

There is a danger to that though. This is definitely easier said than done. But a key part is to acknowledge that while depressed we tend to operate in black and white thinking.

Michael W. Austin, professor of philosophy at Eastern Kentucky University claims that highly illogical thinking tends to perpetuate depression. We see the extremes of ‘success’ and ‘failure’ but not anything in between. We’re anxious to get out of the pit, and we’d rather focus on our escape strategy than fixing whatever it is that got us in the pit in the first place.

In that discovery, we might find something that makes us feel gross, even about ourselves. The “Well, guys, I’m human too!” saying takes on a darker perspective. But things are always darkest before the dawn.

Jeffrey Langan can be reached at lang5466@stthomas.edu.