Just over two months after the sudden death of St. Thomas sophomore Erik Nielsen, his friends are moving into a new semester with a gap in their hearts and a new perspective on life.

Nielsen suffered a brain aneurysm on campus and died Dec. 9, leaving his family and the community in shock. After a difficult week of finals and winter break, two of his close friends, sophomore Reed Flood and junior Rebekah Nelson, are moving on and finding healing and inspiration through the loss of Nielsen.

“Finals week – that sucked,” Flood said. “But coming back, I’m ready for studies. We’re still obviously hurting, but we’re carrying on with our lives the way he wanted us to. Erik was a smart guy, and I know that he would want me to do well on my studies.”

Flood spent part of his break at an eight-day silent retreat. He said the retreat was very helpful for healing.

In January, Nielsen’s family came from their home in Iowa to gather Erik’s belongings. They took the opportunity to take Nielsen’s friends out for dinner and share stories and memories, Nelson said.

Nelson found healing in cherishing memories with Nielsen’s family and also by returning to classes on campus.

“It was a good time after finals week to go home and be around family and to come back around J-Term too when it’s quieter and a lot of my closer friends were here,” Nelson said. “As much as I wanted to stay at home and ignore it and move on … it’s so necessary to be back here on campus.”

The Rev. Erich Rutten, director of Campus Ministry, said staying busy can be very helpful but that the community should be careful not to forget the loss.

“The tendency can be to treat it all as if it’s ancient history. If you’re still grieving it can feel as if you’re alone in it. What we don’t want is people to be alone in it,” Rutten said. “It’s also a time when maybe the grief starts to rise in us because, in the moment, when it’s happening, you’re responding – you’re very emotional, but it’s only later when you start to feel a deeper grief.”

While there hasn’t been as much talk about Nielsen’s death around campus, Flood and Nelson said the support they’ve received from the St. Thomas community has been tremendous.

“The community as a whole is super supportive,” Flood said. “At the hardest time (Nielsen’s death) was pulling people every which way, but we are so close; it made us stronger. They’re just like a net you can fall back on.”

Nelson said she finds it incredible that many people she doesn’t know well have reached out to her but also that it’s unfortunate it took such a tragedy to bring out the best in the St. Thomas community.

“It is sad that it took something like the death of a student to force people to (reach out),” Nelson said. “We want to meet new people. We want to show kindness and support and just friendship to people no matter what the circumstances are.”

Nelson and Rutten said they hope this continues and that people won’t forget how close the community is.

“I would hope that people would remember him … that people would remember their friendships and good times,” Rutten said. “I hope that people would continue to respect that as a challenge to live as fully as they can.”

Flood said one of the best ways to remember Nielsen is his contagious smile.

“Sure, the event has come and gone, but as long as we’re interacting with people we’re still going to affect them,” Flood said. “That is something that I think is immortal … that experience I had with Erik definitely plays into every part of my life, so it’s going to play into those friendships. Through that interaction, they’re going to be affecting people and the generations to come.”

Nielsen’s passing had not only an emotional impact on many lives, but a physical one. Both of his kidneys, his pancreas, liver, corneas and skin tissue were donated to wait-listed people in need of these vitals, according to Nielsen’s father.

Even though Flood, Nelson and many others feel a hole left in their heart by Nielsen’s passing, Flood said he believes the tragedy has transformed everyone who knew Nielsen in a good way.

“Now I’ve had the experience of losing my best friend,” Flood said. “So now I can help other people through their loss, whether it be a best friend or a parent. I think in a very real way that the hole in our hearts can be transformed.”

Simeon Lancaster can be reached at lanc4637@stthomas.edu.