I’m going to start this opinions piece by letting all of you know that at 22 years old, I officially feel old. I understand that I have eight years until I’m 30 and that 50 is the new 40, but when I was thinking about “what really grinds my gears,” to quote Peter from Family Guy, I came to realize that many of you are going to think that I sound like your parents. 
Two weeks ago, I was on a dinner date with a fellow student, and let’s just say it was a train wreck. The food was bad, the conversation was uninspired but more importantly, she was more interested in whoever she was texting than the guy sitting directly in front of her (and that guy looked pretty cute that night). Yes, she was rude, and no, I haven’t taken her out again, but at the same time, I don’t blame her. She is a product of our generation, and like so many other college students, she can’t seem to put her phone down.
I thought things were bad when I was in high school. Every day a teacher in one of my classes would kick a student out for texting, and I even witnessed a guy answer his cell phone right in the middle of Mass (I went to a Catholic high school). This was before the smartphone craze swept the nation and started an epidemic that will forever hinder the social skills of generations to come.
Nowadays, it seems like you can’t even have a conversation with someone without him or her checking their phone, and I honestly don’t know if it’s rude to call people out for this behavior. I must be old school, but when I talk to someone, I like to make eye contact and actually process what that person is saying. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told my little brother, who goes to the University of Wisconsin-Madison, that he was being rude for updating his Facebook and Twitter while I’m trying to catch up with him. But if he’s not going to listen to me, who is?
As a communication and journalism major, professors are constantly telling me how my generation is more connected than ever before. I think this is a load of crap. Our generation may be “connected” by technology, but in person, we are more distant than ever. It feels like I never have any meaningful conversations with people because they are always having three or four side conversations on their phones that detract their attention away from reality.
I know it seems like I’m just being a big crybaby, but really think about it. When was the last time you sat and talked to someone without that person checking their phone for texts or Facebook notifications? I have a roommate who will even read news and sports articles on his phone while we’re all trying to hang out, and it really sucks. When I come home from a long day at work, I want to be able to talk to my buddy without getting head nods and “yups.” I’ve even resorted to calling him a robot because he never detaches himself from technology. He thinks I’m just joking around. I’m not.
This is a huge problem, and it’s the reason why there are laws that focus on cutting down text messaging. Take the texting and driving law, for example. Though our society has deemed that this act is unsafe, people still do it all the time. According to CBS News, 6,000 deaths and half a million injuries are caused by distracted drivers every year. In fact, just last month I was almost hit while crossing Cleveland Avenue because some guy was more interested in his phone than making sure he wasn’t picking off innocent pedestrians.
Can’t we just put our phones down for a minute? Are our social lives really that important? If Jenny’s text message saying, “hey,” is enough to make you respond back while driving, I think you have some serious issues, and you should re-evaluate your priorities.
One last brief rant before I wrap this thing up. Every weekend I make it a point to blow off some steam at the bar and am appalled at how many people are texting, Facebooking and Tweeting while surrounded by people. Talk about irony. There are hundreds of people around you, but you would rather look at a four-inch screen. Why are you even out to begin with?
Break the habit now. Come back to reality. Stop being rude and have a real conversation with someone. Look them in the eye; laugh when they make a joke. I promise it will be worth your while. In my COJO 111 class I was forced to “unplug” from technology for a week. I suggest you all try it. It really puts things back into perspective.
Ryan Shaver can be reached at shav7005@stthomas.edu.
I’d agree with you Ryan, as a sociology student, I like to pay attention to this trend, but I’m also really disturbed by it. I admit that I’m guilty of texting while talking sometimes too (but like everyone else’s argument, the texting was really important). By the way, is there a time when texting somebody might be more important than talking to the person in front of you, and if so, when?
Thanks Ryan, for taking the time to write so clearly about this issue!
Thank you Ryan! I completely agree with you on this. Great article!
Pardon me as I put my nostalgia goggles on, but I remember having a neighbor who when I was younger would come to my door and ask that wonderful question: “Play?” It’s become a norm to text rather than (god forbid) call, and I find that to be one of the more depressing aspects in our advancements in communications technology. It has made our generation move further apart while constantly professing that we’ve become more connected. Connected… how? Because my phone can tell me what all these people on Facebook are saying? Does texting encompass what a person is really saying? Excuse the language, but what the hell am I supposed to learn about someone when they say “lol?”
Maybe we’re connected in the sense that we all trip on the same stupid wires that run in and out of most things we own. Actually, I take that back, because being “wireless” is the new way to be, so it seems as though we can only pretend to trip–pretend to be connected.
I’m glad to know that there are others who miss having intimate communication. It’s a sad thing what’s become of our generation, which isn’t to say that there aren’t good and well-meaning people about. I just don’t wish to entertain the idea of communication being “tippy-type, tippy-type, type, type, send.”
Accept the technology and embrace it, otherwise you’ll be left behind in the dust. Yeah people sometimes have issues with being distracted, but isn’t that the true with everything else? Should we stop eating food in our cars because “one time I almost got hit by a guy eating a Big Mac”?
If you have an issue with it, tell your friend, and if they don’t change their behavior, then find new friends. You should have walked out of that date, or said you’d appreciate her putting her phone away until dinner. Honestly, your actions would speak louder than your words, which, albeit are interesting, don’t serve a higher purpose.
The reality is that technology like the cell phone is just another step closer to bringing people, languages, ideas, and values together. If anything, we should be using it as much as possible in order to understand humanity more deeply. People just need to learn how to integrate it better in daily society; don’t simply “put it down” like you say.
Couldn’t agree more. You nailed it, haha but I will say, how bad could the dinner date have been that your significant other wasn’t even able to have a face-to-face conversation with the person who I’d have to believed paid for the meal getting cold in front of her? Just a minor concern of mine, none the less I’m right there with you on all your other points. Keep up the good work Ryan, I’m a good friend of Hoefer’s, that’s how I heard about what you’re doing.
I think you missed the true irony of this all. Here you are posting a story about using less technology on an all-digital media outlet to people reading it on their computers and smart phones, who then share messages over the internet agreeing about how great it would be to use technology less.
I agree with John. Technology is a good thing, and it ultimately brings people together more than it separates them. Obviously, moderation is best, but if you have a problem with your friends’ or date’s behavior, cut out the passive aggressiveness and tell them yourself. You know, face to face. Don’t go posting a rant about it online. You’re not a robot, are you?
Great article, Ryan. I couldn’t agree more. There is a difference between remaining connected, embracing technology, etc. and being “too connected.” Like many St. Thomas students, I’ve spent time abroad… without a cell phone. The relationships I made during those times are stronger than most. You learn how to connect without “being connected.” It is good to unplug once in a while.
Technology is an important part of the way we all live our lifes (and it is only going to become more prevelant) but is it really necessary to update Facebook, Twitter and have side conversations when you are surrounded by people? The practice of using your phone while in the company of your friends has become all too acceptable. And most of us are guilty of it. Great message here, it is time to break the habit and come back to reality.
Great article! Agreed on all points :)
Enjoyed your article, Ryan. Great points and great to hear it coming from someone your age.
Great article! So many people cannot put down their phones these days and I feel like it is making them miss out on what is right in front of them! Though there are obvious benefits to smartphones and social networking (and we are all guilty of using our phones in class, at work, or in the middle of a conversation), the people right in front of us are far more important and they deserve our respect and attention. I feel that we are missing out on so much because of how much technology has taken over our lives.